Blueprint #14: My Wife Was Right

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Lesson: The Magic of Gardening

As a business owner of 8 different ventures, I've always struggled with the balance between work and family. I knew spending time with family was important, but I often fell into the trap of trying to do as many fun things during my limited time with them. Like I find the core issues in business and tackle them strategically with the least amount of effort I applied the same mentality to my kids. However, I recently had a realization thanks to my wife's love for gardening.

My wife has always found peace and joy in tending to our garden, sharing this passion with our daughters. Initially, I viewed it as a hobby, something outside my realm. But observing their connection, laughter, and the pride in my kids when they finally got to harvest their vegetables after months of nurturing their garden. I realized something profound, the time I spend with them can be fun filled but it’s not binary nor does it need to be jammed with every fun thing I can squeeze into our time together. 

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Insight: Building a relationship requires both quality and quantity of time. 

My "work brain" equated more time with family as better overall. And so when I had little time to spare I became hyper focused on increasing the quality of time with them. But in reality, high-quality, shared experiences are far more impactful. The patience, responsibility, and wonder they discovered through gardening, the stories shared, and the connection built were far richer than any "time-maximized" activity I could have planned.

I’m not going to stop taking my kids to Disneyland but I will incorporate a habit of gardening together as a family. To show them that the time spent nurturing our garden together, working with our hands, talking about the bugs and nature that feed us, or sometimes not talking at all just working side by side, is important to building our relationship. And I can already tell from how they bond with my wife that they will remember gardening with their parents way more than any Disneyland trip I take them on when we all grow up.

Being a busy business owner can inevitably cut into family time. But that doesn't mean quality time is out of reach. By shifting our focus to highly intentional and purposeful time spent, we can nurture deeper connections and create lasting memories.

I highly recommend gardening as your kids will also learn what discipline looks like at work and the fruits of delayed gratification.

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Action Item:

It's not just about hours spent or big trips, it’s about the intention and connection built. Spend quality time with your friends and families this weekend with the intention of relationship and time together in mind. What kind of relationship do you want with your kids?

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